After a week and a half of nothing but shitty ramen and greasy takeout, Pearl did not feel particularly good. But, this was a burden she was willing to bear, because this was her last chance. She couldn't afford to fuck this up, and that meant she needed every second she could spare. Since that night, there was no option but to throw herself headfirst back into the business world and finally get a grip on her future, even if that meant nothing but endless reports, documents, and legal filings for sixteen hours a day.
With a heavy, heavy sigh, Pearl sat back down at her desk to review her findings. Heavy stacks of paper, hundreds of handwritten notes, plans, outlines, and dossiers, were stacked on top of it— and the side table she'd pulled over to hold more— and the ground beside her desk as well. Vehicle manufacturing, parcel logistics, wastewater treatment, medical technologies, IT infrastructure, military contracting, mining, agriculture, fashion, toy distribution, insurance, chemical plant operation, fishing, game development; these were just some of the ideas that clawed their way to the top of multiple hundreds. Through this mess, this static of noise, she analyzed each opportunity, and built an overview of what it would take to turn each company she considered into an opportunity back into her life.
After thirteen days of work, three options remained, narrowed from that list of hundreds.
Fuck, her head hurt.
She stared down at the pages, letting her head slowly fall into her hands. A part of her ached seeing two weeks of self inflicted torture condensed into such a deceptively simple list.
If Freshwater was successful, I'd be at the forefront of digital culture. An absolutely unprecedented market position with potentially staggering amounts of influence in a very underregulated market. That's assuming I can successfully save the company, or that I even get enough power to truly do so. Ivans specifically is historically resistant to any change that could lower profits for a single quarter, and there's no telling how much influence he has on the smaller investors.
She gripped the side of her head, forcing her eyes to stay on the list. Pick an option, just pick an option.
I'd have much more control at Prism, but if it bombs I'm left with a husk of a company and very practically no power outside of its boardrooms. Hardly any better off than I am right now, and years closer to my debt coming due. If it takes off though, I'd have half the enterprises in the country eating directly from my palm, if not more!
Her brain throbbed as the lines on the paper seemed to string together. Her writing grew too blurry to make out, but she'd stared at it for so long she didn't need to read it.
Broadview is the safest option, being an actual, tangible product with much established infrastructure. Bringing it back from the brink of closure wouldn't be hard, but trying to actually take back any significant portion of the alcohol market would be a challenge to say the least. To say nothing of attaining growth worthy of bringing it under the Houzuki umbrella. That said, I doubt anything I could do online could truly compare to the in-the-moment impact of handing Father a bottle of beer from a company I own.
Back and forth, up and down, her eyes snapped from point to point, her thoughts endlessly tumbling as she tried to make sense of the misery she was drowning in.
Pearl slammed her hands on the desk, as she let out a frustrated yell. It was loud enough to make her desk shake, but in the moment she didn't care that she was an octave away from shattering glass. This was SO. DAMN. HARD! Choice after choice, option after option, hundreds of decisions, each with an entirely distinct set of headaches and hurdles, politics and personalities. It was excruciating trying to sort it all. She was overwhelmed trying to keep everything in order! Again and again her head spun in circles as it all just felt so...
...So... miserable.
No matter how easy the ride, or the position it'd ultimately put her in, no matter what option she was staring down, the only future she could picture was one of suffocating mundane misery.
A burn started behind Pearl's eyes. Her breath hitched as she squeezed them closed, balling her fists on top of them and pressing in. "Tides above... is this really what my life has to be?" It was more a whispered plea for change rather than a question.
Pearl was a Houzuki. More than that, she was the Houzuki, the one destined to take control of the ENTIRE conglomeration once Father retired. From the moment she could walk she was being trained for that job— for that life. As much as she wished it wasn't inevitable, her entire life had been set out before her before she was even born. There was no other place for her.
How did she find herself here, debating business intelligence over beer? Why had she let herself stray so far from that path? All she had done was make everything harder by giving herself a false sense of hope. Deep down, Pearl KNEW she'd never be accepted anywhere else. She saw how everyone looked at her, the bartenders, the former bandmates, the randoms in the crowd. It didn't matter if she was disowned, since no one would ever see her as anything other than a Houzuki.
No, there was no other place for her. There was no other option, not really. Returning to her family was the only way she'd ever actually belong anywhere.
With burning eyes, Pearl looked down at the list once more. She had to make her choice. To take that first step on fixing her life. To get back into her family.
How could she possibly choose?
Pearl's phone buzzed.
Marina
hey Pearl
can we talk soon
i need to ask something
Pearl wasn't sure how long she looked at that message, but she only looked away after her eyes started to water.
With a slow turn, she rubbed the tears and instead looked back into the maw of her future. Maybe... I could delay this choice? Just by a little bit? The list sat square on the desk, waiting patiently for her to pick her poison. The ink bled into her vision as she pictured the future. Boardrooms, investor meetings, paperwork. The walls closed in around her. Signatures, offices, suits. Her vision tunneled, the growing shadows along the edge writhed. Forced smiles. Lonely nights. Over, and over, and over, and over...
With a desperate gasp, Pearl kicked her chair to the side as she staggered backwards. Her head screamed in pain as she flung herself away from the paper. Pick one. But how could she? This was merely choosing which noose to hang herself with.
"AUGH!" She cried, as her foot landed on an empty beer can, crumpling the metal under her weight. She jerked her leg up instinctively as her foot caught on the newly formed jagged edge. The sudden blare of pain tore through the static in her brain. Her arms wheeled in the air as she frantically tried to find her balance once more.
Barely, she managed to hobble her way to the couch before her legs gave up completely. "FUCK" she screamed, as multiple fresh, pains erupted from the back of her head, stabbing into her mantle. Angrily, she grabbed at the item, ready to rend it to pieces, but she stopped short as she stared at the crown she'd gotten on Squidmas. The white metal, pulling up into 5 pink points, each matching her mantle and ink colors respectively. For a moment, it's all she could focus on.
Pearl: Mind if I come over now?
It was never silent in the city. There was always voices, or music somewhere a block away. Cars on the distant roads, barges coming through the ports, even the wind dancing through the buildings refused to let the silence settle in the rare moments the other sounds paused. The chill each gust made Pearl shiver, yet the bite of the cold was not enough to distract her from the storm of thoughts raging in her mind.
For nearly two weeks, she'd shut herself away from the world to try and set herself on the right path. Objectively, what she'd done was outright staggering. Reducing that list wasn't a simple task, she couldn't just pick the options she liked and toss out the ones she didn't. Each option HAD to be evaluated in full. Due Diligence of this scale was typically undergone by a team of dedicated professionals, taking multiple weeks at minimum for a single option. Pearl had just evaluated three hundred and eighty two. Obviously, her work wasn't as thorough, but she'd still hit on all of the same overarching bases with every single company on that list. After she finished that, she then had to narrow the list based on the findings, throwing out the cases that were objectively doomed, had leadership too combative to persuade, or would take too long to bring into the green. Then, she'd dive deeper into every single company that remained on the list, only to do the entire process again, and again, whittling it down until she reached the crossroads she was at now.
Genuinely, without exaggeration or any self-aggrandizing, it was one of the most difficult and intensive feats anyone in the Houzuki family had ever done that she was aware of.
Subjectively, what she'd just done was the most miserable, grueling, soul wrenching torture she'd ever endured. Each moment she spent staring at the list was agonizing, each second stretching longer and longer than she thought possible. It was what she HAD to do, regardless of weather she wanted to or not, but her stomach still turned every time she blinked and saw flashes of lined paper.
Pearl had knowingly passed her limit days ago, because she had to get comfortable working beyond it. She needed this break. She needed this break. As tempted as she was to get so drunk she couldn't dream of reading a contract, she knew that tomorrow was a pivotal day. It didn't need to be made any more miserable than it already was going to be by adding a hangover.
That left her where she was now. Plodding through the streets of Downtown Inkopolis for one final night of indulgence. A different kind of indulgence than she would so usually hunt down. The indulgence of a quiet, fun evening. One so outright boring and plain compared to the parties and concerts she so frequently attended it was almost comedic. An indulgence still so new it was novel and quaint, one that felt more addictive than any of the things she'd ever done before.
One final night of indulgence, with Marina.
Pearl felt her insides curl merely thinking that name. She was far, FAR to aware of the way her chest tightened and her hearts beat faster when thinking about the Octoling. That's why she'd forced that girl out of her mind for the past two weeks. After that Squid Sisters concert, she couldn't ignore it any longer. The way she'd stumbled over her words, the rush she felt when Marina talked to her, the starstruck feeling that ate away at her watching Marina's eyes light up as the music started.
Yes, Pearl had a crush on Marina.
And that was a very, very bad thing.
Kiki Lane. A tall, lean inkling with dark tentacles an even darker attitude. The exact kind of girl you'd expect to see on the fringes of a mosh pit but never actually be in one. Pearl met her one night when they were both tossed out of a bar for using fake IDs. They'd travelled a few blocks over to another bar with worse security and drank themselves stupid. For two weeks they were into each other, seeing shows, bar hopping, and generally being insufferable the entire time. At least, until Pearl lost her shit after a bit too much to drink one night. Something to do with money, and how Pearl was paying for everything without exception.
Abra "Moon" Cryx. A shorter octoling on the heavier side, not that it was a problem. An... energetic soul, with neon tentacles and more bracelets than arm. They were always moving, with something to talk about, something to do, something to see, something so say. It was fun at first, but lost the luster after the first week. It only got more grating as time went on, but for at least a few weeks longer, the benefits outweighed the annoyance. At least, until the bickering started as Pearl's patience finally started to give in. One particularly long night, several broken dishes, and a three year ban from that bar later and Pearl was single again.
Courtney Azure. A real firebrand of an octoling, almost literally. Flaming red tentacles, heavy eyeliner, and practically strong enough to punch a hole through sheet metal without flinching. Pearl barely even got to know her last name before they were at each other's throats. The entire relationship lasted a staggering five days total, before they'd walked away from it each bearing more bruises than days it lasted.
Each time Pearl tired to pursue these feelings, be it a spark, or a fancy, or a crush, it ended in unmitigated disaster. People she'd thought she could trust turned a cold shoulder to her time and time again. Pearl wasn't conceited enough to ignore her fault in these failures, but that was why this absolutely could not be a crush.
She didn't want it to happen again, and ESPECIALLY not with Marina. It didn't need to be a crush, or a partner, or a duo, just... a friendship. It didn't need to be romantic— Pearl needed it not to be romantic. That way it wouldn't fall apart again. She had to kill this feeling, smother it out before it could truly ignite and burn her world down.
Tonight would be one final indulgence. A final chance to safely flirt with the idea of 'what if' without actually committing to anything. After this, while she didn't necessarily intend to stop visiting Marina, it would be under very different pretenses. As nice as it was having somebody who didn't know who she was, it was time for Pearl to come clean to Marina. She deserved to know she was wasting her time on a Houzuki. It would be better for them both anyway. Pearl was a single dedicated effort from leading a company into the green, and Marina had her own life to live that didn't need to get tangled up in Pearl's baggage.
One more night to pretend like everything's ok. I'll tell her at the end of it. Things will be better like this. Who knows, maybe she'll still want to see me every so often afterwards. Pearl reassured herself with every step she took towards the familiar apartment complex. A part of her almost believed it.
Through the lobby window, Pearl could see Marina waiting inside. It was impossible to miss the anxious look on her face. She was dressed casually, in simple leggings and a surprisingly short top given the cold weather. The Headphones Pearl had gifted her sat around her neck, their color matching the teal of Marina's tentacles.
On her head, Pearl's crown felt heavy. She took a deep breath, and pushed her way through the door. "Hey, Marina. Hope you've not been waiting too long."
"O-oh, Pearl! No, just a few minutes..." Marina's eyes kept flicking up to meet hers before immediately snapping back to the ground.
"That's... good. Um." Pearl swallowed the lump in her throat. "Still, sorry to keep you waiting."
Marina gestured weakly towards the elevator. "We can go on upstairs, if you'll follow me?"
"Of course! Lead the way." Confidence, Pearl. Keep your eyes forward. Something's got her shaken up, so I need to stay steady.
Riding up was suffocating. The only accompaniment Pearl had was the rattle of the elevator car. There was no conversation, no shared looks, or even a smile between them. Marina's gaze rested squarely on the floor just in front of her feet, and her breathing was fast and shallow. Every movement and jostle of the elevator seemed to last forever. Pearl could feel her arms scraping against the sleeves of her jacket, the small hole in her leggings, the weight of the metal crown pressing into her mantle. As much as she wanted to break the silence, she couldn't find the courage to do so.
The 'ding!'* of the elevator broke them both from their respective trances. Marina didn't look her way before stepping onto the floor. The only sound in the hallway was the jingle of keys, followed by the creaking of door hinges.
A few steps later, and Pearl was once more met with the living room she'd grown familiar with. Squid Sisters memorabilia dominated the entertainment center just as she remembered, though there were a few more posters on the walls since she'd last been here. Interestingly, all of Marina's instruments were laid out on a new table in front of that unsightly orange couch. Marina was standing nearby with an almost militaristic rigidity.
The silence stretched, agonizingly hollow, as neither of them made a move. Pearl tried to read what she could from Marina's expressions. The girl was an open book after all, Pearl hadn't seen her withhold a single emotion in the entire time they'd known each other. Yet tonight, she was strangely closed off. The rigid posture, squared shoulders, locked legs, fixed look of conflict, and avoidant eyes made it nearly impossible for Pearl to get anything other than 'tension'.
so, Pearl tried her best to break the silence with an easy opener. "So... how have you been? it's been a second since I've been over."
It didn't land. "...Fine..." It did, however prompt movement. Marina started to wring her hands rather than keeping them locked to her sides.
Nervous. She's nervous about something? Pearl resisted the urge to frown. She might have figured I'm here to cut her off.
"You alright? You seem worried about something." There, now she'll either back down from the topic, or we'll face it head on.
Marina flinched. She actually flinched at the question. What? Pearl had to work to keep her face neutral. What is going on in her head?
"P- Pearl, I..." The words escaped Marina, shaky and unsure. "I... really appreciate the, uh, headphones you got me..." It almost sounded like her final words were a sigh of defeat.
"Oh yeah, no problem! I'm glad you like 'em!" Pearl gave her a smile, but only got a dismissive nod in return. It was clear Marina's thoughts were elsewhere.
What's going on up there? Pearl could not for the life of her figure it out. She was used to picking out the smallest details of body language for tells, but Marina was so... open that Pearl didn't know what to look for. It was more than obvious that Marina was nervous, if not even a little scared, but of what? A nuanced reading feels impossible, I'm gonna have to wing it.
"Marina, you good?"
At her sides, Marina's fists balled as she swallowed nervously. "I... That's not what- I wanted to- not say that..." Her words were disjointed, like each phrase came from a different thought. They trailed off at the end, like she'd surrendered to whatever it was she was fighting.
Is that all she's worried about? "You don't have to like the headphones, it's alright." Pearl shrugged. Damn. I knew I should have spent more time thinking about the gift. "I know it wasn't a very thoughtful gift, you can return 'em if you want."
"No! That's not—" Marina cut herself off, freezing in place before slowly opening her hands and closing her eyes. She sucked in a deep, hungry breath and held it a few seconds before letting it out. After a pause, she whispered something to herself. It was nearly too quiet to hear, but Pearl could see her lips just well enough to make out her words.
"Better than I could dream of..."
Without warning, Marina surged forward, closing the distance between them in two steps. Before Pearl could react, her hand was clasped between both of Marina's, the grip shockingly tight. When their eyes met, Pearl could see a burning determination that hadn't been there before.
"Pearl." Her voice was steady, strong even.
Pearl found herself on the backfoot of the interaction. Heat pooled in her cheeks as she staggered a half step backwards, her eyes wide. "M-Marina?!" The text! How did I forget the text! She wanted to ask something! Oh Tides, oh Tides no. I never... does she... like...?
"Pearl." Marina repeated.
Oh Tides, oh Tides above, don't—! Don't say it! Pearl could barely muster a squeak in response.
"I want to hear you sing."
"You... what?" The word was more like a gasp than a question as it escaped Pearl's mouth.
"Your singing! I— I want to hear you sing again! We— I— everyone's been so kind, and- and, all the music has been so nice! The Squid Sisters, I love them, but it's— it's not— I haven't heard you since we were on the mountain, and I just, I— it was what brought me to you! You've been gone, and the music has been good but it's not been—" She stopped herself with a gasp. Tears started to well in her eyes as she finally broke eye contact, her gaze falling to the floor as the energy seemed to leave her all at once. "It's not been you, Pearl. I want... to hear you. To... to sing... with you."
"Y-you... want to... hear me sing?"
It was more a statement than a question, but Marina nodded anyways. She still clutched Pearl's arm like it was her only lifeline, but her gaze remained on the floor.
Pearl could only stare down at the Octoling. She blinked. She blinked again. Her mind, usually so fast and analytical, was completely silent, save for Marina's declaration. The words echoed, filling every wrinkle and crevice in her brain.
"And... you want to sing... with me?" She hated how weak her voice sounded.
Marina nodded again, her eyes still glued to the floor. Pearl could feel her claws against her skin, angled just so that they brushed against it rather than pierced through.
When... when was the last time Pearl had sang? The question felt strange, like it was the kind that didn't even need to be asked... right? It was... surely it was recently... Pearl grew cold as she scanned her memories. "Have I really not sang since Mt. Nantai?" Had it really been that long? "Tides, why? Why haven't I...?"
Music was her escape. Her art. It's where she went when she needed a break from the stress and agony of her life. The last two months had been the worst in her life, and she'd completely dropped her only form of relief.
In her mind, she could so clearly picture a bulleted list with three options on it, one of which she had to pick to define her future. Looking at it made her want to scream. Why hadn't she?
Pearl's free hand rose, clasping onto the back of one of Marina's. Her voice was still small, like she knew she was doing something she wasn't supposed to. When did I let the rules start talking for me? "...You want to sing?"Let's sing."