[Revision notes: Get Marie's internal dialogue running through this. This is the start of her massive internal spiral, I want to see the exact moment whatever was keeping her together breaks]
"CALLIE?? CALLIE CAN YOU HEAR ME?! I'M HERE!" Marie shouted at the top of her lungs.
She nearly tripped a she dropped from the top of the fence, but she'd been an Agent for too long to let something like that slow her down. NO! NO NO NO NO! CALLIE HOLD ON! She ran as fast as she could, and then a bit more, over the open courtyard, desperately hoping she made it in time.
"CALLIE! HOLD ON!"
Marie was currently breaking into the the Inkstain Productions studio lot. Callie was here, or at least she was supposed to be, attending the wrap party for [The show] with her costars. However, the parking lot was entirely empty, save for the taxi currently pulling out of it.
"I'M COMING!"
[swap this to a plastic rain coat]
Rain softly pelted the ground all around her, but Marie didn't care right now. It wasn't enough to pose any threat as long as she was wearing her jacket. But it could finish off someone who couldn't get to cover on time. Marie pushed herself to run a little bit faster.
The Callie's message still rang in her ears, taunting her. Mocking her, for her failure.
"MARIE PLEASE PICK UP!" Callie's message had screamed, breathless and fearful.
"CALLIE!! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Marie begged, to no reply.
*"THERE'S A SOLDIER-- --LILAC-- MARIE PLEASE! I NEED--"
"I'M HERE! I'M HERE PLEASE! PLEASE CALLIE! SAY SOMETHING!!" WHERE THE FUCK IS IT? She screamed in her mind. Between bouts of frantically searching every square inch of terrain she could see, Marie's eyes scraped across every soundstage she passed, looking for number eight. There!
"MARIE!!" The last scream was a shrill howl, a plea from the soul for help. A plea that went entirely unanswered, as Marie hadn't picked up the phone. The shriek that followed would haunt Marie until she died.
"CALLIE!!" Tears streamed from Marie's eyes as she charged forward. She didn't hesitate for a second as she approached the door to the stage, bracing her elbow and the butt of her Squiffer as they slammed into the locked door. It buckled for a horrible half second, before the cheap wood gave way. Marie recovered by throwing herself into a roll, clamoring back to her feet as quickly as she could.
[slash --> puddle, since the assailant uses an octoshot.]
Her hearts sank as she realized that she was, in fact, in the right place. A single massive slash of orange ink cut through the room, not 10 steps from where Marie stood. A much messier trail of puddles chased off from that point, a clear indication of an Octoshot, or at the very least, a mid-range shooter.
The distinctive BEEP of a turf charger cut through the suffocating silence as Marie prepared her weapon. She would have much preferred to have her Hero weapon or suit, but a trip to and from the cabin would have taken over twenty minutes, and it had already taken her over an hour to get here. Sheldon met her ten minutes from the studio, whatever weapon he could spare held out for her to snatch as she bolted past.
"SHOW YOURSELF!" Down the hallway she ran, barking out a warning to try and either scare off or lure the soldier away from her cousin. Marie moved fast, but remained cautious. Every hallway she passed she inspected barrel first, just to ensure she wasn't getting ambushed. Her feet fell squarely in the center of every orange ink splatter, stomping down hard in case the soldier was trying to hide until she passed and splat her from behind.
[Tweak feet to something like boots, to explain why she's not harmed by trouncing through enemy ink]
Marie stopped dead as she reached the bend in the hallway. The door to the outside was smashed open. Beside it was a massive splatter of pink ink. The world dulled around Marie as she approached, but she let out a single sob of relief when she spotted the broken remains of burst bomb on the ground beside them. That was her emergency weapon. The one she always kept in her shoe. Marie thought numbly, as she picked up the plastic husk.
FOCUS! SHE'S STILL OUT THERE SOMEWHERE! (You're pathetic. You're a failure. Callie could be dead because of you.) Marie shook her head, trying desperately to dislodge her thoughts, and the tears prickling in her eyes. Her fist clenched around the broken burst bomb, as she mentally locked herself down, chaining down the emotions threatening to overwhelm her.
[look at description in S1R 1 and tweak]
Raindrops slowly washed away the splatters of orange ink, but not so fast Marie couldn't chase them still. She didn't intend to just find this soldier, she was going to hunt this tide-smothered son of a bitch down if it was the last thing she did. There was scarce a time she'd moved faster in her life than right now.
The rapidly vanishing track lead into another sound stage-- thank cod-- with the door still hanging ajar. Marie burst inside with her borrowed Squiffer drawn. No one was there, so she kept running forward until the trail suddenly stopped in front of a door. Marie hesitated for a single second, drawing a lone breath, before throwing the door open and sweeping her aim across the space.
It was empty, not even a splatter of ink, save for two items on the ground. Marie's repressed emotions burst free of her hold on them as she fell to her knees.
Marie wasn't fast enough.
Marie failed.
[fails moved down, find replacement]
She failed.
She failed her cousin. Abandoned her. Betrayed her.
[Find room to add the "she's not dead, but kidnapped revelation"
Lost her.
Lost Callie.
[revision note: I want to up the amount of Marie's inner dialogue by a LOT. Think of it as a teaser for her spiral pre-OTH introduction.
She couldn't even cry. Grief welled in her throat, desperate for an escape that wasn't there. With shaky arms, she tenderly clutched the half smashed phone and damp pink beanie, as the room bloomed with pale green light. Marie's body shook with an untenable grief. This was her fault. She failed. She failed. She failed.
Marie screamed from the depths of her hearts, and was met with only the quiet patter of the rain outside.
*She's gone. (You failed.) They took her. (You failed.) She failed. (You're a horrible cousin.) Callie is gone. (You're a horrible person.)
She lay there for no more than thirty seconds-- the longest 30 seconds of her life-- before a piercing alarm suddenly cut through the silence. Pure reflex had Marie up on her feet with the Squiffer drawn, despite the fact she couldn't see from the tears welling in her eyes.
What was the alarm? It obviously isn't anything from the studio... but it could be-- Marie's focus snapped back into place. It's the zapfish facility. THE ZAPFISH FACILITY!
There was still hope.
Marie charged the exits like a woman possessed, Squiffer slung onto her back so she could run any little bit faster. She had to get down the street. She had to get down the street. She blocked out the protests from her fingers as she hauled herself up the chain link fence, and then took a page from Quinn's book and launched herself forward with a superjump the moment she was on the top. Her recovery was sloppy, needing an agonizing extra two seconds to orient herself out of a roll, but the moment the world was spinning slow enough, she was running again.
[maybe remove the above for the moment and save the superjump revelation for below]
[swap this to something like 'she could feel the droplets getting under her coat.]
The rain was coming down harder now, and she could feel the droplets starting to soak through her jacket and rest on her skin. That's fine. As long as I don't let it splat me, it's protection. Too thick to let the ink seep through. Still, she glanced at her watch to be safe. The small dial in the center still showed green, meaning she was synced with a respawner somewhere if things did truly take a turn for the dire.
Alarms still blared, growing louder as Marie reached the end of the street. The growing rain obscured her sight at a distance, but the large silhouette of the zapfish facility quickly came into focus. The building was a large dome, with four box-like protrusions cutting through it, making a plus shape. The Great Zapfish was kept in the center, while the wings housed equipment, staff, and the facilities for the regular zapfish as well. All along the building, dozens of red lights flashed in erratic, disjointed patterns.
Actually getting close to the facility might as well have been impossible. Since the first incident, reinforced, climbing resistant fences lined the perimeter. Barbed wire lined overhangs meant she couldn't jump on top of the fence as a vantage, and a large series of metal mesh nets were hung in the air to prevent anybody from superjumping into the facility's grounds.
Luckily, that wasn't a problem. Her target wouldn't be behind the fences for long. Marie ran along the outside of the facility, eyes glued to the skies above, until she spotted it. A large floating disk in the sky, a UFO, was making steady progress away from the facility, a massive, writhing form clutched beneath it.
There was no hesitation as Marie shot herself into the air with another super jump. Days of training with Agent Three flashed past her eyes as she switched forms mid air, Squiffer coming to bear before she even landed. This was her only chance to make things right.
Rain pelted her face as she blasted through the air, enough to make it start burning, but Marie didn't feel it. The storm was picking up, small droplets were being shoved by the wind fast enough that it obscured her sight to the other end of the UFO.
The entire structure buckled as she impacted. Two cries of surprise broke through the silence. Marie only listened so she could pinpoint their location.
"Orthe! Oneack! (Over there, on the back!)" A voice shouted, and Marie fired blind towards it. A scream, and the sounds of ink splattering were her reward. Marie stomped forward, the flame in her soul keeping her dry as she approached the front end of the saucer. The other end had a large cover erected over it, providing shelter from the rain. A lone target stood, octoshot in hand, glowing red goggles cutting through the rain like a knife. There was a second form, one Marie could barely make out, crumpled on the ground behind them.
Marie saw red. She stalked forward, Squiffer brought to bear. "YOU BITCH." Marie howled as she took the shot. It impacted... something, splattering ink over an invisible surface as the soldier stood behind it, unharmed and unmoving. A terrible growl ripped itself from her throat as she stalked forward. She couldn't see the face of the soldier because of her ink, but she could just barely see the end of a long tentacle, black fading to pink, on the ground next to them.
"I'LL RIP THIS THING APART WITH MY BA--OOF" The air fled her lungs as Marie was tackled to the ground by someone. Marie immediately tried to push herself up, but her foot lost purchase on the slippery metal, sending her sprawling back to the ground. Her assailant dug their claws into Marie's coat, forcing her to wrench herself the other way, ripping the sleeve off so she could get free. In the same motion, Marie swing around and threw the hardest punch she could, finding the Octoling's goggles in the process.
They staggered back with a cry of pain, breathing heavy as they watched. They were wearing something similar to Marie's rain suit, though rather than a flimsy throw-on coat, it was a sealed, padded cover. Marie tried to prepare herself for another attack, but instead, found herself struggling to stand. As she staggered down to one knee, she became aware of the searing, burning pain coursing through her body, but worst in her left arm. The one the sleeve had been ripped off of.
Marie quickly shielded her arm with the rest of her body, but she'd absorbed far too much water already. Her body was sluggish, and she could hardly keep herself upright.
She wasn't given any chance to recover, as the octoling snatched the moment of weakness, surging forward with an angered shout. Marie tried to move, but she knew she wouldn't make it. The octoling shoved her back, and Marie found herself falling down the slanted edge of the UFO. She barely managed to find something to hold, a light of some kind, with her right hand. The Squiffer hung loosely in her left, to heavy for her to lift-- not that it'd make a difference. The singular functioning red light of the soldier's goggles gazed down at her. Without a word, they brought their boot down on Marie's fingers. Hard.
[Change the shove to a kick to help better explain how the positioning works out. Also it just feels more dirty that way.]
Marie felt something snap as her grip was forcibly removed. The world might as well have been paused, as she hung in the air, falling from the UFO. She could count every centimeter it moved, and the seconds it took to do so. What felt like hours passed as she watched the gap between them grow bigger, and bigger, and bigger.
Until she hit the ground.
chapter like, 4? When we get back to Marie's POV: